They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
