google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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