Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
