Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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