i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
