Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
