he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So many bounce houses so little time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
