So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
