Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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