I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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