just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
And then he peed in my hair
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
