I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
