ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
