is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
