By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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