so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
