Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
