NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
try to milk me bitch
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
