but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize