Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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