I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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