Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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