Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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