Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize