well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
