we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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