Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
