Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
