there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
