you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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