Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ttyl tear gas
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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