I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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