Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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