I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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