Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
