I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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