Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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