dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
