I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
