how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
