Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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