a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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