belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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