ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
