i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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