On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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