i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
