Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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