I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
