so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
