Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (1792)
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  (516): View more from New York

  gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats what she said

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  (516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j
  Replies (13) Good night (2001) Bad night (703)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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  (504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3
  Replies (35) Good night (601) Bad night (3811)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."

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  (716): Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per." http://tfl.nu/jili
  Replies (6) Good night (4008) Bad night (677)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...

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  (434): I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either... http://tfl.nu/vddq
  Replies (45) Good night (720) Bad night (6965)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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  (404): What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/w7nv
  Replies (18) Good night (4545) Bad night (1157)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

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  (402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye
  Replies (35) Good night (8434) Bad night (1217)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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  (912): His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/9x22
  Replies (21) Good night (921) Bad night (5518)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..

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  (585): you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink.. http://tfl.nu/9bld
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (1024)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj

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  (914): I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj http://tfl.nu/ijru
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (390)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech

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  (603): Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech http://tfl.nu/2ee5
  Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (399)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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  (615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois
  Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (357)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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  (314): I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger http://tfl.nu/k75x
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (612)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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  (715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b
  Replies (0) Good night (283) Bad night (236)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.

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  (773): there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him. http://tfl.nu/ujhc
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (245)

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