Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?

(760): View more from California

You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.

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(301): Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room? (760): You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet. http://tfl.nu/jiuf

Replies (27) Good night (4281) Bad night (706)
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(727): View more from Florida

i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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(727): i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR. http://tfl.nu/oyj0

Replies (16) Good night (13716) Bad night (659)
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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn

Replies (26) Good night (3968) Bad night (900)
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(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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(315): Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka.. http://tfl.nu/lv2f

Replies (20) Good night (4552) Bad night (1069)
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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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(619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv

Replies (54) Good night (1781) Bad night (5859)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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(731): I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one. http://tfl.nu/nuy4

Replies (9) Good night (2479) Bad night (1086)
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(785): View more from Kansas

She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...

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(785): She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before... http://tfl.nu/n0in

Replies (4) Good night (3414) Bad night (849)
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(716): View more from New York

Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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(716): Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada http://tfl.nu/glbq

Replies (9) Good night (2389) Bad night (802)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...

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(615): Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her... http://tfl.nu/47qs

Replies (19) Good night (957) Bad night (4014)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

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(484): omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers. http://tfl.nu/h63v

Replies (17) Good night (1041) Bad night (2404)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.

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(651): It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face. http://tfl.nu/y5ia

Replies (11) Good night (1564) Bad night (844)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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(304): Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you http://tfl.nu/fgii

Replies (20) Good night (2903) Bad night (989)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.

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(812): Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible. http://tfl.nu/givh

Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (746)
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(831): View more from California

I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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(831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w

Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (277)
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(760): View more from California

I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.

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(760): I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling. http://tfl.nu/owmt

Replies (13) Good night (600) Bad night (315)

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