Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.