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• (540): View more from Virginia

  she looked like the before picture.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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• (516): View more from New York

  nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work

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• (716): View more from New York

  Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette

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• (512): View more from Texas

  you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Thats so sweet

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.

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