i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
