return my video game
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There's always time for handjobs
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
