I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
