Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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