I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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