i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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