I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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