just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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