I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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