My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
