My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
