beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
