OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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