If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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