Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
