You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
