butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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