Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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