Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high