Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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  (773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (953)
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  (650): View more from California

  i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.

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  (650): i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/726d
  Replies (44) Good night (1322) Bad night (4002)
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  (585): View more from New York

  she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over

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  (585): she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over http://tfl.nu/tk3t
  Replies (13) Good night (9996) Bad night (1154)
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  (650): View more from California

  we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  god you guys know how to party

  (650): View more from California

  worst. bachelorette party. ever.

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  (650): we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed (505): god you guys know how to party (650): worst. bachelorette party. ever. http://tfl.nu/3oqx
  Replies (16) Good night (1121) Bad night (6991)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends

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  (925): Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends http://tfl.nu/x0vc
  Replies (17) Good night (4852) Bad night (2285)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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  (502): one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why. http://tfl.nu/9zaj
  Replies (12) Good night (5211) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

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  (815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn
  Replies (27) Good night (5921) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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  (252): Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning http://tfl.nu/yyg5
  Replies (6) Good night (2119) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...

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  (864): Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right... http://tfl.nu/ms5r
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.

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  (508): I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate. http://tfl.nu/ga8b
  Replies (8) Good night (640) Bad night (1001)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.

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  (516): I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high. http://tfl.nu/l06x
  Replies (12) Good night (3870) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

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  (336): dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems! http://tfl.nu/qsei
  Replies (4) Good night (862) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it

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  (978): It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it http://tfl.nu/22ti
  Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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  (702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io
  Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.

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  (310): Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me. http://tfl.nu/o0n4
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (357)

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