You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We got so high we made milksteak
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.