Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.