Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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(914): Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase. http://tfl.nu/ryxu

Replies (68) Good night (545) Bad night (4362)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"

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(334): Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?" http://tfl.nu/nosa

Replies (50) Good night (950) Bad night (4755)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf

Replies (62) Good night (7021) Bad night (926)
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(707): View more from California

Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....

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(707): Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me..... http://tfl.nu/ajao

Replies (11) Good night (3315) Bad night (1196)
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(312): View more from Illinois

This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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(312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz

Replies (28) Good night (5070) Bad night (2181)
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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk

Replies (7) Good night (1705) Bad night (933)
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(518): View more from New York

She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

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(518): She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands. http://tfl.nu/nkts

Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (528)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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(307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5

Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (918)
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(314): View more from Missouri

The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

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(314): The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder. http://tfl.nu/bkbj

Replies (11) Good night (2137) Bad night (538)
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(512): View more from Texas

I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?

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(512): I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day? http://tfl.nu/bpfn

Replies (4) Good night (882) Bad night (268)
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(917): View more from New York City

New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.

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(917): New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/1xcw

Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (334)
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(647): View more from Ontario

btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.

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(647): btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns. http://tfl.nu/3mk5

Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (219)
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(954): View more from Florida

Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book

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(954): Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book http://tfl.nu/wp44

Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (163)
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(716): View more from New York

I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.

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(716): I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jnx6

Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (154)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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(908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi

Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (174)

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