That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening