Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
