Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
