he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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